Monday, August 20, 2007

Ya know what...

I don't want to take Jack to the hospital tomorrow.

I don't want to wait for them to call me and tell me what time I can come.

I don't want to spend 10 minutes on the phone, telling them....once again...all his issues. Can't they keep it on file?

I don't want to pack for an overnight stay.

I don't want to remember to get cash, so I can eat.

I don't want to eat at the "Rainbow Cafe".

I don't want to check in to same day surgery, and tell them everything...again.

I don't want to wait for them to come get us.

I don't want to send him off with the anesthesiologist.

I don't want to wait in the same day surgical family waiting room.

I don't want to watch the Doctors come in and out, and not talk to us.

I don't want to jump everytime the phone rings, hoping it is for ..."a parent for Jack Simmons"

I don't want to have that feeling, when they don't call for me. Because he isn't waking up from the anesthesia.

I don't want to leave Steve in the waiting room, and go back to see him. But I don't want Steve to go back first.

I don't want to get a crappy nurse. Not that we would, but I'm really not in the mood to!

I don't want to have to watch TV looking up. And not be able to rewind it.

I don't want to sleep on the crappy bed.

I don't want to miss Nick's second day of school, first day with all the grades.

I don't want to send Emma to my Mom's AGAIN...

I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to!!!!!!!!

But I will, and now that I've gotten it out...I feel better!!! A little...


Mandy said...

My feelings exactly!!!! I have had those same feelings many many many times. Good luck with the surgery.

aprila said...

I can totally relate! :)When it's time for Joshua's next surgery in October, I will feel the same things you just listed...but then I will remember, and be grateful:

that I had time to mentally prepare for a surgery instead of following an ambulance to PCMC.

that my baby is going in healthy and coming out healthy.

that I have my husband there to support and comfort me.

that they let me sleep beside my baby and not at the Ronald McDonald house.

that the nurses are there to give me a break.

And most of all...I'll be grateful to whomever designed that hospital with so many good places to run off and cry. Because I'll need them.

Wishing you a very uneventful surgery!! :)


Danielle said...

Can I relate? Oh yes, on so many levels. And then some. Tomorrow, I don't want to go in for a long appointment for my other child. I don't want to have more treatments to deal with, this time for my other child. I don't want to watch him go through the fear and confusion of coming out of sedation. I don't want him to be seeing one of the same specialists as his sister. I don't want to face possible surgery for him too.
Unfortunately, with our kids, it's rarely what we want. And it is not fair. And it is not fun.
But they're worth it, ya know?

Jennifer said...

Praying for you Friend. Let me know if there is anything i can do!

Sarah said...

Man do I hear ya, I hope things go fast, well and you get the hell out of there quick.

We will be thinking of you.

Sarah & Wesley

Anonymous said...

As with everyone else I agree, adding that...

I don't want to tell my active, eat everything 5 year old that he can't eat Pizza, hamburgers, cereal and all his other favorite things for 8 weeks.

I don't want to tell him he can't ride his bike or go outside and run around for 8 weeks.

I don't want to tell him he can't go to school or any birthday parties or any other children's activities for 8 weeks.

I DON'T WANT TO......but I will because I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO DO IT OVER AGAIN if the bone graft doesn't work.

I know this surgery is such a small part of his life, sometimes it is just hard because every "normal" part of our lives has to be on hold.

Erika said...

Well, I thought I posted a comment a few days ago but apparently it didn't work. Anyway, I can relate as well and I hope you know that you, your family and sweet little Jack have been in my thoughts and prayers. Surgery day is so so rough. I hope that things went well. Keep us updated.