Sunday, September 30, 2007

Me...get an AWARD???

WOW!! Thanks Lisa! I have been very reflective haven't I! Thanks for acknowledging me!! And thanks Corrie, for acknowledging Lisa! This could go on all day!

Anyway...this means a lot to me!! THANK YOU!

So now I need to nominate someone! After much deliberation...

Amy, is one of my very favorite people. I love reading of her adventures. I have nominated her, because I want her to know how much I love her, and how much I appreciate her friendship, and support!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Reflux and Scrapbooking

Emma had her follow-up. I was SO nervous. But Tuesday, she brought home Rumplebear. The class bear. He comes home with each child a few times during the year, and he has a journal, to write about his adventures. So we took him to the hospital. He even got his own ultrasound! It was so nice having him with us!

Her nuclear cystogram, was kind of a nightmare. She did NOT want the catheter. Who does? But did ok! Then when it was time to take it out, and "go" on her own, she FREAKED OUT. Screaming and crying. She held it, for like 8 minutes. was kind of good. It proved...HER REFLUX IS GONE!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!! Even with her holding it, it never went back up...YIPPEE!! BUT...she has a UTI. The night before, she was crying that her bladder hurt. They always send some to the lab, when they do the cystogram, and sure enough, there was bacteria. She is doing better now! The doctor said, 2/3 of kids that have this surgery, will still get bladder infections or UTI's. It just won't hurt her kidneys now. And...we never have to go back again. Of course, if she has problems, ya...but as of right now...she's done! Cool huh...

I also had to make a scrapbook page for Emma's class. Like an "about me" page, for a class scrapbook. This was my first attempt at digital scrapbooking. What do you think? Oh...I'm looking for praise and accolades... *grin*

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Let's do a One Eighty...

Sorry about making everyone cry. I just have to blog what's on my heart. And that was... BIG time yesterday.


I took Emma and Jack on a bike ride today! I know...HOLY CRAP! My legs are like spaghetti, but we had a great time, at the little park we rode to. Here are some know me... There are pictures of the bike, and me on it, as proof!! *rolling eyes*

I got some cute video too! There are two parts to the swinging. He was so cute!

Then...on the ride home, Emma took video. OH MY's too funny. Shows her tenaciousness... It's 4 min 24 sec. long, so just follow this link... It's hysterical.

And thanks for all the support, and great comments! You guys ROCK!!!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Remembering what could have been...

So I came across Jack's birth plan. Someone on one of my support groups is going through what we went through, so I sent it to her.

I've been really thinking about that time. Mostly because of the speaking in my friend's class. And now reliving it through this mom. It's been kind of sobering. To look back on it. When I was looking for the birth plan, I found an email Steve had sent to the Funeral Association. I can't believe what went on in that conversation. It talked about how funeral homes don't charge for services for infants under one. But the do charge for "product". So if we wanted to hand make a casket, we could. It talked about cremation, and how she was going to send us a pamphlet on how LDS church leaders felt about it. It talked about how Steve had looked into how much burial plots were, at the cemetery a few blocks from our house. I don't think I ever talked about that before. It's humbling to share it now.

I also wanted to share what my birth plan said. Here are some excerpts, I'm leaving out the "details", other medical things, that are irrelevant to the feelings.

We would like this day is to be a celebration, regardless of outcome. Our beloved baby has been diagnosed with Semi lobar Holoprosencephaly, among other things. We are expecting him to live, but we also know that he may not. If that is to be, see pg. 2 of this birth plan. Please, when you speak to us, be up beat. Please don't talk about Jackson not surviving.

~We would like the OR staff to be upbeat as well. Again we are expecting him to live, please join us.

Here is pg 2:

In the event it looks like he’s not going to make it:

Please call our baby by his name, Jackson. This is our child, whom we love deeply. This love compels us to revere and treasure every moment of our baby’s life to its fullest natural extent. Your compassion and understanding during this bittersweet and difficult time are appreciated deeply. We believe that the memories of our actions during this sacred time with him will later console us.

We understand that after the birth, situations may arise that were not anticipated and decisions will need to be made. We want every measure taken to sustain his life. But if he is not doing well, we will listen to the advice Neonatolgist, and NICU team. We simply ask you to keep us informed so we can participate in the decisions as to what is best for Jackson; that no intervention be taken without our approval, other than what is outlined above. We trust you will respect our wishes.

After our baby is born, we ask that he be wiped, suctioned (if indicated), wrapped in a blanket and, handed to the nurse. Please hand Jackson first to Steven, who will bring him to me, as we wish to cuddle our baby immediately. We ask that vital signs, weight, medications and labs be postponed, if possible.

If Jackson has fewer problems than expected, please see pg 1 and discuss all possible testing/treatment options with us.

Other than routine post- delivery care, we wish for private time with our baby. We will discuss any exceptions that should be made.

We would like Jackson to be blessed by Steven ASAP.

Memorial / funeral plans have been made for Jackson, through Seren-i-care.

We wish to hold Jackson as he is dying or has died and want to keep his precious little body with us as long as possible. We would like to bathe and dress him. We have an outfit and a burial garment.

We would like to keep the following items as keepsakes: lock of hair, ID bracelet, crib card, hand and foot molds, birth certificate, weight card, hat/blanket/clothes, family hand prints, and photographs- color and black and white.

Please give instructions to Jenny on comfort measures for breast engorgement. (If you don't know, your milk comes in, whether you breastfeed or not, or if your baby dies. So yucky.)

Regarding our other children, we will decide what to do at the appropriate time.

We want an autopsy.

We would like Jackson to be an organ donor.

Thank you so much for helping us to make this bittersweet time more bearable.

I just can't believe this ever occurred. I look at him now, and can't believe we had to even type the above words out. I will admit, I often forget. I think it's a defense mechanism. I really don't know how we got through it. We just did. We had faith, and support, and love, from places and people we never thought we would.

While I am grateful for the experience, I never want to go through it again, and it's hard to watch other people go through it. I just hope I can be as supportive to them , as everyone was to us.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

The Teachings of Jack

I have this friend. Some of you know her. She's amazing, and bossy. She has been so excited about this conference. Her youngest is considered Deafblind. This conference was for parents of kids who are Deafblind. At one point during the day on Friday, she was unsure her husband was going to make it, and invited me to go with her. At the last minute he was able to go, but another friend of ours, husband wasn't. So Lisa called me, and said...and I quote, "OK, we're getting started, you better hurry... see you in a minute." I was still unsure about going. It had been a VERY long day for me, and I was tired. son is not deafblind, so I was worried about not fitting in, so to speak. I could not have been more wrong.

I went, mostly to get Lisa off my back, ( I told you...she's a bossy one) and had such a wonderful time, and learned SO much in the 3 hours I was there.

They showed this movie, "The Teachings of Jon". This is just the trailer, but VERY powerful.

Jack reminds me so much of Jon. The way he communicates, but most importantly, the way he loves, and the way he teaches us. Jack has had a profound affect on us, and so many people around us.

At the conference, they encouraged everyone to think about, and write down, the things they have learned from their child. I've been thinking about it ever since. He has taught us SO much, I'm hope I can put them into sentences.

1) The first thing he ever taught me was to believe in him. He wouldn't be with us today, if I hadn't.

2) That I'm stronger than I think. I NEVER would have thought I could go through an impending doom pregnancy. Or handing him off to an anesthesiologist. Six times. Or anything really. I have HAD to find my strength, but I'll tell you, I sure found it, and I'm still finding it, everytime something new happens.

3) Support groups are my life line. I really don't know what I'd do without them.They are all listed on over on the right. It's so nice to be able to tell them how I feel, and they get it! Or if I have a question, someone ALWAYS has an answer. They are happy to share in my trials, and triumphs. I have made the most wonderful friends from these groups. For them alone; I am thankful for Jack.

4) I've learned a new definition of beauty. I look back at pictures, and sometimes, I'm a little shocked. I notice how big his head was. How wide his cleft was. How flat his nose... is! I honestly never saw any of those things. He was and is perfect.

5) My kids have learned so much. And their friends. I love that Jack will be the boy their friends talk about when they get older. "I had a friend whose little brother who had a cleft lip...or hydrocephalus...or wasn't supposed to live." I love that my kids have gotten to know other kids with disabilities. The two conferences we have been able to go as a family, have truly changed our lives. If only to have the kids meet other kids like them, or Jack. Even better, kids who are more severe than Jack.

6) I've learned so much from other parents. Being in a room full of parents, going through some of the same things, is amazing. Mostly, that we are normal, and not alone!!!

7) True joy!

8) Miracles still happen.

I'm so glad Lisa "made" me go. I met some wonderful people, and I'm so thankful for the challenge to write down what having Jack in our family has taught us. There are of course more, and most of the things I write about here...but these are things that are in my heart tonight!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Updates and thoughts...

I've had so many deep thoughts this week, I realized I haven't given any updates! So here goes...

On being a guest speaker:

It went great! It was so fun. And people had really good questions. It's funny how when you tell a story, you don't realize what you've left out. Some were medical questions, some emotional. The professor asked, "Where do you find your strength?" How's that for a loaded question. The number one thing I said, was FAITH. Faith that he would be ok, faith that we would be able to handle it, if he wasn't. I also said how having support of family and friends makes a HUGE difference, and support groups too. I would totally be in the corner, sucking my thumb(to quote a friend) if I didn't have the support of those who have been there done that... They loved the video. I turned off the music, and let it play again, while I answered questions, so they could see the pictures again. They liked it, I think.

So, of course I forgot a couple of key points, but the most important one...not to terminate based of prenatal findings, I remembered. And, I told them about Early Intervention and how important it is, and how much they have helped Jack.

It really is amazing to me, that not only did I do well, but wasn't really nervous. Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact the old me, would NOT have done that!

On being the Sacrament Meeting Chorister:

It's going really well. So far. We've all been there together, it's been nice. Last week, Emma sat with me for the first two songs. She was cute, and so excited to sit up front! I've also had at least two people say..."SURE, I'd LOVE to sit with the kids!" One friend even said, "You don't even have to ask, I'll just do it." SO nice!!! It's so fun to stand up in front of everyone, and see my favorite people smiling at me! I also LOVE to sit up there, and watch Jack. He is so cute, and I love watching Steve with him. He loves Daddy so much!

On Emma's broken arm:

She's doing great! It smells, and is filthy, but she really isn't complaining much. She gets it off, a week from Monday. If you missed the picture before, here it is. She was SO adamant on NOT having her picture taken. She has her own mind, if you didn't know that already! So this one, I snuck in!!

She's been so excited to have people sign it, and shows it off all the time!!

She's even been great about taking a bath, she just puts her arm on the side of the tub. She even does a good job washing her hands!! I'm proud of her, she's been great! Although, her follow-up with urology, is this week, SO dreading it, I can't even tell you. I'm going to call on Monday, and see about some"don't care drugs". ugh

On the boys and school:

Nick is doing GREAT. His IEP is the BEST thing we could have EVER DONE He is struggling with old issues in a couple of classes, but the other 4, he has an A in! Math, the reason we even STARTED the IEP process, is going great! He has lots of extra help, and has had two tests now, and got an A on both!! He LOVES Jr High and Young Mens, and is just a busy little bee. He always has something going on. It's so fun watching him grow up!

Parker is doing great too! He's loving 4th grade, and has gotten really great about taking his meds, ON HIS OWN!!! YAY! Such a triumph! He's really growing up too! He does hate getting left behind, when Nick is off being "older". But that's life right! I think it's my fault. When they were little, they came as a set. They did everything together. So I recognize, he doesn't like being left behind. Hopefully, he'll be over it by the time Nick goes on a mission, or at least when he gets married! I picture him running after the limo...screaming...WHY CAN'T I COME??!! Ok, don't tell him I said that!!! *grin*

On Jack:

He's doing fine. We have another CT scan, a week from Monday. I think it will be fine, but who knows. One thing I am concerned about, is his under-bite, seems to be getting worse. His bottom teeth, completely cover his top two teeth.the middle front ones. I don't think they would do anything now, but it just adds to my worry, ya know? And his ankles are just getting worse. Oh my heck. We are currently waiting for a physical therapy consult, with our old PT, from early intervention. I'm tempted to just call up to Shriner's, and make an appointment. I think I'll wait to hear from Mike, and go from there! His OT, really wants to get some ideas, and helping him walk with his legs straighter. He walks so well, but with his knees bent. His hamstrings are pretty tight, which has always been an issue. So we'll see how that goes!

On ME:

It's been a week now, and I think the meds are helping with my mood. But I've also been really busy this week, with things that are good for my mood. If that makes sense. But... I never, at one point, didn't want to do anything. Ok, maybe a little, but I was able to overcome it, and go for it! That's HUGE!! I'm so glad I got off my butt and did something about my funk!

Also, MANY people this week, have had SO many great things to say. I encourage you to go read the comments. I especially want to thank Lisa, and Dan. You guys have helped me SO much lately. You ALWAYS have the right thing to say, and REALLY support me in everything I do. And have helped me see how great I can be! Even though I tell you, you are are mean(all the time) ;), I really appreciate it. Thanks guys!! I LOVE YOU GUYS...more than you'll ever know! I'm so luck to have you both in my life! And Steve has been great lately too, helping with the kids, and being willing to let me loose a few times. That is a GREAT mood stabilizer, getting out of the house!!! Thank You, Honey! I LOVE YOU!

Well, that's it for now. Lisa dragged me to a conference, and I really want to tell you about it, but I'll save it for tomorrow! :)

Oh, I also added another "Kid-ism"(scroll to the bottom of the page), and you can see all my Youtube videos, under those! Check it out!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Me...a public speaker?!?

I have ALWAYS hated public speaking. Which is weird. I love to sing, and perform. I've been in many performing groups, and plays. Been the lead in a few. But I hate to talk in church, or in front of a large crowd. I really think, it is because I have to use my own words. I never thought I put my words together well, and sometimes, I hate the sound of my voice.

But something changed, when I discovered I had something to say.

When we first found out about Jack, I scoured the internet, looking for some sort of hope, and support. I found out about blogs, and so it began.

The blogs I found were so comforting to me. It was so nice to know, we were not the only ones going through similar things. So I started my own, to hopefully be that for someone else. Plus it's a great way to keep people updated on the twists and turns.

So back in January, I sat on a parent panel, at the Birth Defects Conference. It was a nice way to ease in, because people just asked questions, and I would choose to either answer it, or not. Mostly did, cuz...well...I have a lot to say on the subject of Jack.

Then a friend called me last week, and asked me to speak to her Psychology class. They were studying, birth defects, and how knowing prenatally affects the parents. Um...right up my alley!!
I was supposed to go the Monday after she asked, but called her to postpone. I just could pull together what I wanted to say. What parts do I tell them? How much detail, do I give them birth defect facts, or numbers? Do I show them Jack's birthday slide show?

So I just tell the story, from the beginning. I prayed ALOT, to have the right things to say. And I made a new video. I put new pictures in, and kind of told the story. It went SO great, and while I was worried about filling up the whole time, I ran OUT of time, and I'm going back tomorrow. I'll show them the video, and the professor told them, they all had to write down 5 questions. OYE! Should be interesting! I'll let ya know how tomorrow goes. And here is the video. Like everything...It's not perfect, cuz the music is messed up in the beginning, but once you are past it... Well I hope you'll enjoy it!!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Mommy Merit Badges

Check this out,

Mama Merit Badges

I think I've earned most of them. Personally I think we could prob come up with a few more.

Such silliness!!!

Thanks Lainey, she sent them to me!! I'd link ya to her...but she doesn't have a blog!!! Come on woman!!

Sunday, September 16, 2007


I overheard a couple of women talking today. I didn't hear much of it, but she was talking about "reinventing" yourself. It really hit me. I keep saying, "I'm not the same person I used to be." Like it is a bad thing. I have been so down on myself, but I need to change my thinking.

We shouldn't think it's a bad thing, if we don't get to do the things we used to do. Each life event, changes us. Whether we want it to or not. Some we choose, others a thrust upon us. Shouldn't we always be "reinventing" ourselves? Instead of whining that life has changed?

So...I need to figure out, who this new me is. Is she a mom struggling to make sure everyone is happy? Is she an advocate, for those who can't advocate for themselves? I guess it all comes back to balance.

But what I'm trying to convince myself is, sure I may not have the same friends, or even the same goals as I did before Jack. But, I have GOT to figure out what exactly my goals are, LIFE goals, not just for today or this week.

I need to REINVENT myself. And stop whining about who I used to be. I will never be her again. But it's not all a bad thing. Now I just need to meld the old me and the new me! REINVENT me. I don't think it will be hard, it's just RENAMING it. Ya know?

Friday, September 14, 2007

I WENT to the doctor!

Well, I really liked her. And I liked her nurse. That is SO important to me. If the staff is horrid, I won't even consider the Dr.

I told her all of my symptoms, and she feels they are ALL related to depression. The hair... stress. Alopecia Areata is what she says it is. And there's nothing that can be done about it. Well, that's not totally true, I can destress my life. Then it will stop falling out, and regrow. Isn't that nice. And she doesn't think it's menopause related at all. Now I feel younger!! ;)

She also gave me happy pills! YAY!! She said, it will give me more energy! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!!!!! *sigh* I HOPE it is true. HOPE HOPE HOPE....

I'll try to keep you posted. But honestly, knowing everyone is out there, cheering me on, means SO much to me!


I'm going to the doctor...

So I mentioned my hair falling out. BIG bald spot. It's so pretty. Thankfully, it is in my crown, so it is only obvious, if you are above me!

You also might know, how tired, depressed and moodyI am, and I have trouble sleeping, AND get REALLY hot, and sweaty, with little activity, and the thermostat at 65. All but the hair falling out, are classic signs of Peri-menopause. Did I mention in my last post, how I'm getting old?!?! *sigh*

So here is my frustration. I called my OB/GYN about the bald spot, and they said, OH, we don't handle stuff like that. Here is the name of an Internist-Internal medicine. I call them, and tell them I have a bald spot, can they help me? They say yep!

Then I start to realize the menopause stuff. ugh

So my appointment, has finally arrived! With the Internist. NOT the OB/GYN. *rolling eyes* If they say, Oh, you need hormone therapy, you need to see a GYN, I may go freaky on them.

JUST FIX ME WILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, I'm gonna ask about happy pills too... think that might be a good idea??

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Life happens.

First...thanks for all the nice comments, and funny ones, on my last post. It was one of those times, when writing, took on a life of it's own. That relationship, was over 20 years ago. I really never realized, what he meant to me, till Lisa stirred up memories for me. I started out, to write just about HS relationships. And it morphed into that...

I've since emailed him., and we have lead completely opposite lives. He has lived all over the world, with the Navy. I have pretty much stayed put, since I got married. He has two boys, that are the spitting image, by the way. His oldest, started college this fall, youngest is a senior.

As I was telling him about Jack, and...everything related...he was astounded. "You've been through so much!" Then he tells me, he was in the war, back in the 90's, twice. Has almost been deployed to Iraq, a number of times, but so far has escaped, and lost EVERYTHING in Katrina. Um...I'll take 6 surgeries, and a way cute baby thanks.

My point in telling all YOU this, it is has had me thinking. At one point, this boy and I thought we'd be together forever. But that is not what was destined. I tend to only think of the "right now." Everything is GREAT right now, or EVERYTHING STINKS, right now. Talking to him, has given me more of a life, even an eternal perspective.

First of all, the saying, "this too shall past." I'm just REALLY figuring out, the boys aren't little anymore, running around in diapers, cuz we didn't go anywhere. When we were in this stage, I thought, this is my life! Babies. Well people, they are 12 and 10. And it happened when I wasn't looking. Emma. She just rocks my world. But I still can't believe how old she is getting, and I still feel like I kind of missed some of it. Jack, is growing up before my eyes. I guess I've watched him do it more. I have SO many pictures. I have TREASURED his babyhood. Probably cuz we wondered if there would be one.

It is amazing to me, how long childbearing years are. I know, that probably sounds stupid, but really. I have been in my childbearing years, for about 25 or so years now. People I knew in HS, that got pregnant, have a child who is an adult, and could even be a grandparent. What is THAT!?!?! How did I get so old?? That is so not my point, but anyway...

It astounds me, how I have 4 kids, relatively young. And this man-now, is almost an empty nester. It happens when you are not looking. It happens, when you are trying to absorb EVERY moment, every bit of drool, every bit of learning to talk, every bit of learning to read, the tooth fairy, Santa Clause, Easter bunny, and little friends, and taking math tests, homework, and going on trips, and puppy love.

It is humbling to think that they will get old, whether I do anything about it or not. How can this boy...not a boy anymore...and I, that at one time, had a similar "wish" of an outcome, be in two totally different places.

I guess I have realized, I need to step it up. You hear people say all the time, "Love your kids with them, play with them, cuz before you know it, they will be gone." We were talking about how his kids are almost gone, and I was saying I had YEARS before mine were gone. BUT...Nick will be gone before I know it. The last 12 years, have gone by in what seems like a matter of days. So much has happened, but I feel like I've missed most of it.

So where do we find it. The balance of making sure we don't miss out on our kids' childhood. But also, making sure the house is clean. And giving of ourselves to the community, the school, our churches. I'm still learning to find that balance. Do we ever totally have it?

I think I've gone off an a tangent...again. I hope you can see what I'm trying to say. I have just realized, life is passing me by, while I sit in my funk. The world is not on pause, waiting for me to come out of it. I remember when Emma was born, and I was working at the school. I worked the day I went in to be induced, and had been there everyday, prior to that. I went back to school after sitting on my couch nursing for 6 weeks, and was kind of blown away, that whole time I was sitting on my couch, people were still living their lives. I know, I have problems. ;)

So I am resolving today, to stop my stupid behaviors, and get on with my life. Be a better mom, and wife, and friend. I need to do things that make ME happy, and not depend on others to make me happy. I need to cherish every moment, without over doing it. I need to not let the little things bog me down. I need to be the person I used to be... and more.

Wish me luck, it's easier said than done. But I think I just might be up for it!

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Who has helped shape who you are?

So Lisa, just posted some thoughts on the past. It's got me thinking too. Especially with Nick starting Jr High. I moved away, to almost the other side of the country shortly after High School. I have lost touch with so many friends from High School.

Remember in high school, thinking it would always be that way. The boy you were dating... He was the one. You told everyone you were getting married someday. Your yearbook is filled with ...You guys are so great together. And...I' m glad you found each other. And...see you at your wedding in 7 years. Then you graduate, and everything changes. You SAY you'll always be together. Best friends, boyfriends. It's hard to imagine it now. Everybody went on and did other things! Some went into the military. Some moved out of their parents house right away. Some spent the summer, desperately holding on to our dreams of staying together. I was one that actually did all of those. Well, I didn't go into the military, but my sweetie did. I have wondered many times, what would have happened, if he hadn't left.

This boy changed my life. Let me back up for a minute. In Jr High, I had two friends. And lots of bitchy girls, who made fun of me. It really was horrid. Luckily, it only lasted 2 years, because the year my class went into 8th grade, the school district, decided to put 6th in middle school, and 9th in the high school... but I digress...

When I went to High School, I was SURE all those bitchy girls, were going to tell all the kids from the other Jr High, to not like me. I know...stupid, but still. I went in believing High school would be the same. I guess about a 3 months in, I met my best friend. We were in homeroom together.

So about my sophmore year, I realized that noone had told all the other kids about me, and it was UP to me, to make friends. I ran with the choir crowd. NOT popular in my high school. But we were happy. And in that crowd, I was in the IN group, you could say. I had boyfriends, from the music department. But honestly, they all treated me like crap. Ok, isn't that high school? But when your in a relatively small crowd, ya all kind of date each other ya know? Sounds creepy, I hope you know what I mean. So for the most part, the men in my life, had all treated me poorly. Not the 10th and 11th grade boys are men, but you get my point. Maybe I picked the wrong ones, or the wrong ones picked me, then dumped me, cuz I was a good girl.

Well by my senior year, all those stupid boys had graduated. It was a whole new year! Then a boy, NOT from the music department, took a shining to me! At first I thought it was a joke. Boys outside the music department, were not my friends, let alone thought I was cute. He was SOOOO smooth. It makes me laugh thinking about it.

We started dating, and to my surprise, he didn't treat me like crap. We had a GREAT relationship.We never fought, or even argued. My best friend, got a boyfriend about the same time, and we were all inseparable. We all went to prom together, some more tan than the same others...(inside joke)

This boy taught me, I can be friends with the "cool kids", I was worth being loved, and most importantly, I was beautiful. He also taught me about loss. He left for boot camp, way too early in our relationship. But it made me who I am today.

You can't help but think what if? What if he had never "hit" on me in the hall by my locker. What if he had never gone into the Navy. I honestly wonder what kind of person I would be if it hadn't been for him.

I challenge anyone who reads this, to think back, and write up something on your blog, about a person, who you think helped shape the person you are today!

Be sure to let me know!

A week of "FINALLY'S"

Here are the contest results...FINALLY...

First of all, thanks to all those who voted for Parker, but alas a younger, cuter child won. ...toddlers... *rolling eyes* Here is the link to see who DID win.

And the caption contest. That was fun huh? I have a zillion more...If I remember, we'll play again tomorrow. That is... if I make it out of church alive. Anyway...Caption...


"Yeah, really funny, I know where this thing is supposed to go. I am not amused!" by Christine!!!

So the other "finally's"...

Jack was fussy all week, in the evenings. Classic sign of over draining. Also the back of his head seems to have increased in size. Just the back, below, of course, where they measure his head circumference.
So after much thought, and worry, I FINALLY took him in. I showed them this picture, and the Dr say, "Well, it 'FEELS' ok, I think he's fine." She's right, it doesn't feel squishy. So that's good. But why is it bigger. Some say it's the light in the picture, some say, OH MY HECK, you need to call. Who knows. But I noticed it first,
caressing the back of his head.

Of course since I took him in, he has been better. Of course. I think maybe he was just getting used to the new pressure in his head. But it doesn't explain the bulge.

Emma started school!! FINALLY. She's is having a blast! I had quite the moment the first day. The last time Emma and I walked into Miss L's class, Emma was a newborn, in her car seat! It hit me so hard, and I almost started to cry, but decided, it would only embarrass her! She is so big! She is so OLD. It's just crazy. My friend was just reminding me all her kids are in the double digits! Goodness, where does the time go...

The first day, they were to bring their favorite bear. Of course I forgot, but luckily, there were some to choose from in the car! Chicken Little, and a frog. Emma chose the frog. They went around the room, and Miss L asked everyone their "bear's" name. Emma's was so unusual, she asked her where she got it? Emma said, "From the CAR!!" Oye...

Then on Thursday, they had a parade, and picnic with them. This is Emma, taking her "frog" to go down the slide.

As I've told you before, Nick and Parker both had this sweet teacher. And when we bought Emma's backpack, I had forgotten, that this teacher, supplies them with a book bag. So now, we have set out, to make her book bag, all pink and High School Musical, like her back pack! Hopefully, she'll still like it for kindergarten. You know, how their favorites change so quickly! I'll put up a picture when we get it all decorated. I ordered the cutest iron on off Ebay. She'll get the bag on Monday or Tuesday. And then begins my own personal struggle of, letting her do what she wants, and making it look "nice" ...hate that struggle!

Then Thursday, Parker FINALLY turned 10, AND got his skate board. Ever since they were about 3 and 5, the 21 days between their birthdays, has been filled whining from Parker. "When is it MY birthday?" "How come Nick got presents?" know stuff like that. I thought it would get better the older he gets. I guess it has just gotten different. This year it was, "Nick won't let me ride his skate board!" Although... he was MUCH more willing to let other people ride his, always with the..."See I can be nice and share"...tag...but still... He is so happy to have his OWN skate board!!

As far as the rest of the week, well you know what happened! *rolling eyes*

Sunday, I start leading the singing. *sigh* I'll let you know what happens! I do want to share this though. My dear sweet Lisa reminded me of something. Here is what she said:

"When Ethan was in NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit), for those longs months, I had the opportunity to meet one of the twelve apostles. He said something very curious to me, that I’ll never ever forget.

He said, and I wish I had it written down, so I could quote him word for word, but it went something like this…'It is our obligation to provide service, even if we don’t feel like the person who is asking, actually needs that service. It is not our place to question, them. It is our responsibility to help them. As well as it is their responsibility to ask. There are grave eternal consequences for those that do not ask for help. They that deny others the opportunity of service, are far worse off, than those who don’t help, those that ask.'

It still gives me goose bumps. He was so close to me, and his hand was on my shoulder, and I didn’t just hear what he said, I felt it."

Thanks LIS!! I'll try to remember that...and try to FINALLY swallow my pride, and ASK!!!

Friday, September 7, 2007

Another trip to the ER...

That would be Emma. She had been complaining about her arm, off and on, since Monday. She had fallen out of our neighbors little tree, but seemed fine. I checked it just like the Dr does. Pushed her hand backwards, squeezed it from the sides, and top and bottom. Asked her to rotate it. She did them all pretty well. No screaming in pain. A couple of, pulling her arm away. Last night, she was complaining again. This am, she was playing at said neighbor's, and when I picked her up, her hand was swollen, and she was SOBBING. Then I told her we needed to go get it looked at... SCREAMED even harder.

Luckily, she fell asleep on the long drive to PCMC. When we got there, she noticed where we were and started to cry all over again. Once I convinced her there were not going to be any needles, or pokies, she was ok.

We checked into the ER at a little before 1:00. We got right in. She did GREAT for the X-ray, and got her little splint on. She has a buckle fracture. When they went to put her splint on, she was wearing a longsleeved shirt. So we had to take it off, and get a shirt from the hospital. This picture, is awful, cuz she didn't want me to take it, so I took it fast. And she was in the middle of telling me, she didn't want her picture taken. heehee, I told her we had to show everybody!!

She'll get a cast, hopefully on Tuesday. And I can assure will be pink, or purple!

The one silver lining, when we got home, I looked at the clock...3:04.

Oh the joys of being a Simmons...

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Parker's a DECADE!!!

Well, we never thought we'd make it 10 years! But we/HE did! What a kid! Before Jack came along, Parker was our biggest "medical" kid! He inhaled a peanut, had 4 broken bones, before he was 4. He had extensive dental work done-twice, before he was 6, and has had more bumps and bruises, than I can count!

What a sweetheart he is. He is also a master ANNOYER, all in the same kid! He's good at everything he does. I keep trying to find something he isn't good at! He's hit 4th I'm sure we'll find something soon. ;)

PARKER, YOU ROCK!!! You make our house VERY entertaining...We'd be so boring with out you!!!


Sunday, September 2, 2007

Caption Contest

So I thought it would be fun to have a contest. Oh sure the prize is only the announcement that you are the winner, but still!!

So leave a comment, on what you think the caption for this picture should be! If you email me, I'll add it to the comments, with your name, if you want!

Let the games begin...

Shadow Puppets

Raymond Crowe doing "Shadow Puppetry". Talent like this needs to be showcased!