Friday, February 22, 2008

Goodbye for now...Kaden.

This has been quite an emotional journey for me. I don't even really know what to say. This is the journey we were told we would be on. This is the journey we dreaded. This is the journey, that for us, never happened.

My heart aches for The Mack Family. As blessed as they have been, and as much as they have touched many lives, by sharing their son with us. He still went to heaven. He WILL be with them forever, and he didn't NEED to be on earth. But he still went to heaven.

Tonight, it doesn't seem fair. Tonight I look at Jack, and wonder what would our life be like without this sweet boy. This sweet boy, who just climbed up on a chair, opened a drawer, pulled out a bag of 200 straws, and threw them on the floor. This sweet boy, who was supposed to be there to meet Kaden in heaven. Why is Jack here, and Kaden isn't?

It has been so interesting for me, how so many people love my little Jacky, and have never met him. Well, now I get it. I love baby Kaden. I have been so upset I was not able to go meet him. I just didn't dare with all our sicknesses.

I just know, that we too will see him in heaven. I think even in heaven, all our special kids will have a club. But the ones who get to heaven first will be running it.

So I go to bed tonight with a heavy, but thankful heart. Thankful to have "met" someone like Kaden. Thankful for my testimony of eternal families.

Thankful for my beautiful Baby/Toddler... Jack.


Cindy said...

Thank you for sharing Kaden's story. It's very touching and yet sad. Having a medically fragile child, now an adult, I ask the same question you do! I'm so happy to know that Evan will make it straight to heaven, but then again, I know I would miss him terribly if he wasn't here!! Why do some stay for such a short period of time? I guess we will have to ask that question when we get there!! I can't imagine living through a trial like that without the gospel!!

Stueller said...

Thank you for your email and for your love for Kaden. He was such a precious baby and as you walked into the room it was evident that he was special. Jeanine is one of my best friends and it gives me such comfort to know that there are others out there thinking of them in this time. :)

Fowler family said...


This post brought tears to my eyes.

You are such a beautiful, wonderful mom. Jack is so lucky to have you.

And I loved your words about our boys/kids having their club up in heaven some day.