What is my problem? Why can I not just be fine?
So last week, we saw our favorite OT. It had been about 2 months since we saw her, just due to scheduling conflicts. He's been fine really, for him anyway. But of course I had my list, of things I think are wrong with him.
Here it is:
~his right shoulder, is like a ball
~his bicep is almost nonexictant
~the muscle/tendon in his armpit is SO tight, I worry I'm going to rip it, if I pick him up the wrong way
~his shoulder blades stick out, and are uneven
~his spine, disappears between his shoulder blades, then reappears and is "bumpy"
~his wrist bone, is pointey not round like most people
~his feet are still pronating
~his knees are starting to knock, due to said pronating
~he can't seem to get jumping OFF stuff. He can jump UP, just not off. No mind you, I am VERY happy about this, but still, he should be able to...no?
No here's the problem, NONE of this, is a problem for HIM!!!! NONE OF IT!! So I ask you...why can I not let it go, and not worry about it. Our sweet OT, is so good at..."KNOCK IT OFF!", or "Let's watch it". But we are both sick of, let's watch it.
As I told you in my last post, I'm now adding "shunt" to my list of worries. Everthing odd thing that happens, I think it must be his shunt. Maybe I should lie, and go to the ER and say he's having symptoms, and needs a CT scan. "Oh, well, he was acting weird last night, he must be feeling better now!" *rolling eyes* I can see his chart now, under diagnosis...hysterical mother.
Also, I feel like his right eye, is getting droopier. I have said this before, that his eyes, are interesting in that you can see the bottom of the whites of his eyes. But for some reason, occasionally, his right eye, top eye lid, seems to droop. Again...mountain out of mole hill?
Part of me, wants it all to resolve on it's own. The other part wants to start up with the never ending appointments again, and get this all figured out. I was thinking of taking the summer off from therapy. Just to see what happens. He's really only getting speech. Our "teacher lady" comes once a month, and plays fine motor and cognative games, while working on speech.
I know he's only 2, but I wonder, if the "pressure" of people constantly wanting him to do stuff, is making him not do it. Our OT agreed, taking the summer off, might be a good idea. I don't know, I'm still deciding.
As far as my list goes... Yesterday, he did this :) I sent it to her in email!
And she is worried/watching the knees, and thinks maybe his arm has the muscles attatched in weird places. What to do about it, neither of us know. She did say making him rotate his upper trunk would help with some of the issues, in stregthening all those muscles.
So tell me, what is my problem? I was recently accused of "expecting my children can't do things." I have always TRIED to tell them they can do anything. That once they learn how, they can accomplish anything they want. Maybe this person is an idiot, maybe I am, and don't know I'm doing it. I did ask the boys, if they felt like I do that, and got a resounding NO from both of them. P said, "You always encourage us!" So that was nice. But I wonder if I do it to Jack too much.
I'm actually just typing out loud, maybe tomorrow when I read it back, I can make more sence of it. If you have any thoughts though, I'd appreciate it.