I would bring baby pictures, probably just this poster and explain a little bit about his cleft. Talk about why he talks a little different, and have him show them his retainer.
The reason I'm debating? I don't want to bring attention if they don't notice. But I also don't want them staring and wondering. A couple of years ago, a child at school asked me why he looked like frankenstein. *sigh* But I also don't want to single him out. Or make him feel uncomfortable.
I hate that he's in-between. In-between typical and extra special. At home, we just act like there is nothing wrong. But as he goes out into the world, they probably won't.
I'm so not ready to throw him to the wolves, so to speak. On one hand, I'm so glad his teacher's are glorious women I have known for years. On the other hand, I will not be there. Emma will be there, in the same hall even. So that's good. I guess. :/ It looks as if I am the one with the issue. haha
So my question is, what do you all think? Should I make a special moment, to "introduce him" or wait until something "comes up""? I have already talked to his teacher, and she is game for whatever. I also thought maybe I would just see if he can be the first student of the week. Then I could still tell them about his coolness, without making it a big deal. ...maybe...
help
8 comments:
i think you are right in wanting to talk to his class friends.as you said that some of the children wont notice .but there will be some that do .and the ones that do will bring it to the attention of the ones that dont .so it would be better to explain to all the children at the same time and just how special your little boy is
Thanks Anonymous! ;)
Have you talk to Jack about it? I wonder what he prefer?
How does Jack feel?? Have you asked him what he would like you to do?? I have done that with Emily. Then there are times I just talk to the Teacher about things and ask that she/he talk about differences in everyone, that way he is not singled out...
Just my 2 cents!
I guess at that age Jack wouldn't be embarrassed by you calling attention to him in that way (if you were to do your own presentation about him), but I think I'd go with having him be the first student of the week so that the presentation is just (sort of) like any other student's. That way you can point out that he is special in certain ways just like everyone else has certain traits that make them special. Everyone's "certain traits" are different but that's what makes them unique. I think if I were in your shoes that's how I'd go about it, but I also think it would be fine if you just did your own presentation because the kids are so young that they wouldn't give as much thought to it as older kids would, and Jack probably wouldn't be embarrassed. I definitely wouldn't wait until something "comes up". If you do it BEFORE anything comes up, you're giving the teacher some tools to handle any situation before they might arise. Jack will probably be extra loved and considered the "cool kid" by his classmates anyway! That's how I remember it always being when I was a student in Murray District. Anyway, I'm not a mom yet so you can disregard my opinions if you want to, but I just thought I'd share my thoughts since you asked! I hope everything goes well for him (and you!)!
I love the student of the week idea. Then it's just the first of many and no big deal, except that he has super cool pictures of himself!
I can only share my experience... I was born with disfigured toes on one foot. My parents never made and issue of it and always acted as though everything was normal. As a young child, I hardly thought about it but as I got older - 3rd, 4th grade, etc.. I started to become increasingly aware of my difference. Because I could hide my toes, it made things easier to some degree but harder in another way. The less i had to deal w/ it - the less comfortable I got w/ dealing with it. My parents always acted like everything was normal and probably never even realized, I had these thoughts of shame, etc.
As a young adult I became increasingly self conscious and good at hiding.. I'm 35 now, have 2 children of my own, and have realized how silly it all is - but I'm having a hard time unwinding all my usual habits and feelings. I'd hate to see my own children carry a burden like this in their lives. I'm not sure how my parents should have handled things but know that I never have truly learned to accept my toes. Also, I have learned from experience - people DO say mean and hurtful things that leave lasting impressions.
I think it would have been helpful for me to LEARN from my parents, how to see myself and how to deal with the feelings others might bring on. Just sharing my experience.
Hi Matilda - I'm new to your blog and just wanted to say thank you for sharing so many excellent posts.
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