Let's do a One Eighty...

Sorry about making everyone cry. I just have to blog what's on my heart. And that was... BIG time yesterday.

ANYWAY....

I took Emma and Jack on a bike ride today! I know...HOLY CRAP! My legs are like spaghetti, but we had a great time, at the little park we rode to. Here are some pictures...some...you know me... There are pictures of the bike, and me on it, as proof!! *rolling eyes*

I got some cute video too! There are two parts to the swinging. He was so cute!





Then...on the ride home, Emma took video. OH MY HECK...it's too funny. Shows her tenaciousness... It's 4 min 24 sec. long, so just follow this link... It's hysterical.

And thanks for all the support, and great comments! You guys ROCK!!!

The Teachings of Jack

I have this friend. Some of you know her. She's amazing, and bossy. She has been so excited about this conference. Her youngest is considered Deafblind. This conference was for parents of kids who are Deafblind. At one point during the day on Friday, she was unsure her husband was going to make it, and invited me to go with her. At the last minute he was able to go, but another friend of ours, husband wasn't. So Lisa called me, and said...and I quote, "OK, we're getting started, you better hurry... see you in a minute." I was still unsure about going. It had been a VERY long day for me, and I was tired. AND...my son is not deafblind, so I was worried about not fitting in, so to speak. I could not have been more wrong.

I went, mostly to get Lisa off my back, ( I told you...she's a bossy one) and had such a wonderful time, and learned SO much in the 3 hours I was there.

They showed this movie, "The Teachings of Jon". This is just the trailer, but VERY powerful.



Jack reminds me so much of Jon. The way he communicates, but most importantly, the way he loves, and the way he teaches us. Jack has had a profound affect on us, and so many people around us.

At the conference, they encouraged everyone to think about, and write down, the things they have learned from their child. I've been thinking about it ever since. He has taught us SO much, I'm hope I can put them into sentences.

1) The first thing he ever taught me was to believe in him. He wouldn't be with us today, if I hadn't.

2) That I'm stronger than I think. I NEVER would have thought I could go through an impending doom pregnancy. Or handing him off to an anesthesiologist. Six times. Or anything really. I have HAD to find my strength, but I'll tell you, I sure found it, and I'm still finding it, everytime something new happens.

3) Support groups are my life line. I really don't know what I'd do without them.They are all listed on over on the right. It's so nice to be able to tell them how I feel, and they get it! Or if I have a question, someone ALWAYS has an answer. They are happy to share in my trials, and triumphs. I have made the most wonderful friends from these groups. For them alone; I am thankful for Jack.

4) I've learned a new definition of beauty. I look back at pictures, and sometimes, I'm a little shocked. I notice how big his head was. How wide his cleft was. How flat his nose... is! I honestly never saw any of those things. He was and is perfect.

5) My kids have learned so much. And their friends. I love that Jack will be the boy their friends talk about when they get older. "I had a friend whose little brother who had a cleft lip...or hydrocephalus...or wasn't supposed to live." I love that my kids have gotten to know other kids with disabilities. The two conferences we have been able to go as a family, have truly changed our lives. If only to have the kids meet other kids like them, or Jack. Even better, kids who are more severe than Jack.

6) I've learned so much from other parents. Being in a room full of parents, going through some of the same things, is amazing. Mostly, that we are normal, and not alone!!!

7) True joy!

8) Miracles still happen.

I'm so glad Lisa "made" me go. I met some wonderful people, and I'm so thankful for the challenge to write down what having Jack in our family has taught us. There are of course more, and most of the things I write about here...but these are things that are in my heart tonight!

Me...a public speaker?!?

I have ALWAYS hated public speaking. Which is weird. I love to sing, and perform. I've been in many performing groups, and plays. Been the lead in a few. But I hate to talk in church, or in front of a large crowd. I really think, it is because I have to use my own words. I never thought I put my words together well, and sometimes, I hate the sound of my voice.

But something changed, when I discovered I had something to say.

When we first found out about Jack, I scoured the internet, looking for some sort of hope, and support. I found out about blogs, and so it began.

The blogs I found were so comforting to me. It was so nice to know, we were not the only ones going through similar things. So I started my own, to hopefully be that for someone else. Plus it's a great way to keep people updated on the twists and turns.

So back in January, I sat on a parent panel, at the Birth Defects Conference. It was a nice way to ease in, because people just asked questions, and I would choose to either answer it, or not. Mostly did, cuz...well...I have a lot to say on the subject of Jack.

Then a friend called me last week, and asked me to speak to her Psychology class. They were studying, birth defects, and how knowing prenatally affects the parents. Um...right up my alley!!
I was supposed to go the Monday after she asked, but called her to postpone. I just could pull together what I wanted to say. What parts do I tell them? How much detail, do I give them birth defect facts, or numbers? Do I show them Jack's birthday slide show?

So I decided...to just tell the story, from the beginning. I prayed ALOT, to have the right things to say. And I made a new video. I put new pictures in, and kind of told the story. It went SO great, and while I was worried about filling up the whole time, I ran OUT of time, and I'm going back tomorrow. I'll show them the video, and the professor told them, they all had to write down 5 questions. OYE! Should be interesting! I'll let ya know how tomorrow goes. And here is the video. Like everything...It's not perfect, cuz the music is messed up in the beginning, but once you are past it... Well I hope you'll enjoy it!!

Parker's a DECADE!!!

Well, we never thought we'd make it 10 years! But we/HE did! What a kid! Before Jack came along, Parker was our biggest "medical" kid! He inhaled a peanut, had 4 broken bones, before he was 4. He had extensive dental work done-twice, before he was 6, and has had more bumps and bruises, than I can count!

What a sweetheart he is. He is also a master ANNOYER, all in the same kid! He's good at everything he does. I keep trying to find something he isn't good at! He's hit 4th grade...so I'm sure we'll find something soon. ;)

PARKER, YOU ROCK!!! You make our house VERY entertaining...We'd be so boring with out you!!!

I LOVE YOU DUDE!!!!

Shadow Puppets

Raymond Crowe doing "Shadow Puppetry". Talent like this needs to be showcased!

WOW!!!!

Remember Jack?!?

I didn't realize how much I missed him till he came up tonight! I guess I've been too busy with Emma. When he first saw me, and looked at me funny for a minute, and then lit up! Oh man he is sweet! This picture is just him being cute with Nick. I can hardly stand it!

I got some more video of him walking. He is doing SO great, walking and walking, and walking.

I think it's ironic, to have video of him walking so well, in the hospital!! :)

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!

This is a little late, but I was trying to make another video, and came across this template. It was too cute to not put Emma's make over birthday pictures in it!

Sorry, I wanted to put in right one here, but it is NOT working.

So you're gonna have to GO HERE, to see it!

Enjoy!!

Lagoon!

I keep forgetting to report on Lagoon! It was fun! Sadly, Emma had been running a high fever...AGAIN...so she stayed with Gramma. I was in tears the first 20 mins, cuz I kept putting my hand out to hold hers, and she wasn't there! It was bad! But I knew she really couldn't be there, so it made me feel a little better. It was Steve's work summer party., so everything was free! Can't pass that up!

Anyway...here are some pictures. Jack did great! He only got to go on 2 rides, the ferris wheel, and the log flume. Even the kiddie rides, were too much for him. Too fast, or too jarring. He DOES have a stick in his brain! He LOVED watching the boys go on stuff. Some of the rides we could see them. When they went on the Rocket, we could see them. Jack giggled every time it "went off". So when the boys went, he thought that was WAY fun. Here is some video of it.

So...enjoy the pictures. We had a great time!

Climbing Mt. Couch

Need I say more?? My days of a calm baby, who just sits, are OVER. He is constantly wandering around the house. The new phrase in our house is..."Where's the baby?" He likes to go in the bathroom, and shut the door. He likes to go in my/our room, his crib is in with us. And rummage through the stuff on the floor. I have my bridal picture leaning up against the wall, waiting to be hung...someday...it's stays on the floor because, well, I had a waist then, and it makes me sick to look at it. But I digress... Jack was looking at it the other day. Holding it up with two hands(it's as big as he is) and looking back at me saying..."Ahhhh!!!" And grinning!

He also loves to head into the dining room, which has a cabinet beside the table. He found LOTS of noise makers in there, AND a few things to stand in!! He's even figuring out how to make a cute face to get out of trouble!

So this is his newest thing.

*sigh*

Nick had a theme when he was this age, "Must...get...higher!" As you can see, Jack has adopted it! He was so proud of himself yesterday, when he got up on the couch, he just sat there and played with a toy! Here he is once he reached it today! So proud!!

So...freakin...cute!!!

Some late night thoughts when I should be sleeping!

Just wanted to say how much joy Jack brings to our house.

Sunday, was a day from hell, caused by evil people who really need to take medicine, or to adjust their meds. People that have to get in the last word, even when it hurts people. If you don't believe me read her blog. I would give you the link, but that would be feeding the beast now wouldn't it!

Anyway...I was so irritated all day by people's ignorance, and Jack just smiles.

Look at that face. He melts my heart, and everyone around him. As, much as I complain about having 4 kids, I wouldn't get rid of any of them. And I'm not being ungrateful by any stretch of the imagination. It is just hard to meet the needs of all of them. And most of the time lately, I feel like I'm all alone doing it.

We are in for a busy summer though. We have several appointments for Jack, Emma's surgery, a couple of dentist appointments, and TWO, count em, TWO fun filled vacation type things!!!

First, there is a family retreat for the Children's Craniofacial Association right here in Salt Lake! There are many activities planned for the family to network, and commiserate. I'm so excited!! It's only $50 for our whole family, for the WHOLE weekend, AND...we get to go to Lagoon. Now I really don't care about it, but the boys LOVE IT. It will be nice to hang out outside all day too. We're also going with Steve's work this weekend! I'm most excited for the boys. I love to see them happy.

Then after Emma's surgery. WE ARE GOING TO VEGAS!!!!! There is a conference there. And I could not be more excited about it! Here is the link telling all about it! See why I'm excited!! It's going to be so good for the kids. We've NEVER done something like this. I'm also going to learn about starting a cleft support system in Salt Lake. Here is more info about that! It's going to be great!

Well, those are the thoughts running through my head this evening...at least the ones I feel like broadcasting to the world anyway...

Oh, one more thing...Most of you know of my love for musical theater...I came across this yesterday, during one of the more discouraging moments,it it filled my soul, and brought tears to my eyes. Not so much the words, and I'm not even really sure the background of the song, but the emotion is undeniable. I actually think this is when the Wicked Witch of the West began her reign. But...I do like the line..."Nothing's gonna bring me down!!" and she IS talking about going against the wizard..but whatever, in MY life it means something different, but I STILL sing it at the top of my lungs like she does...only she is better!! It's VERY cleansing to scream it!

:)